Charge of the Ide Brigade

I

Half a game, half a game,

Half a game later,

All in the province of Crane

Rode the Ide Trader.

“Forward, the Unicorn!

Charge Moto Horde!” he said.

Into the province of Crane

Rode the Ide Trader.

II

“Forward, the Unicorn!”

Was there a man forlorn?

Even the fanboys knew

Designers had blundered.

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to play, lose, cry.

Into the province of Crane

Rode the Ide hundred.

III

Lion to right of them,

Dragon to left of them,

Scorpion in front of them

Played cards O’erpowered;

Dishonoured and Bowed,

Boldly they rode and how?

Into Shameful Display,

Then Med of the Tao

Rode the Ide hundred.

IV

Played all katana there,

Tried to win rings of air

Bowing Kisada fair,

Playing a tourney, while

Still underpowered.

Plunged in Shinobi-smoke

E’en though the Province broke;

Phoenix and Dragon

Reeled from katana strokes

Routed and sundered.

Then they rode back, but not

Not the Ide hundred.

[Historical Note: - Unicorn were only given the power to move in, not out, so they all died]

V

Bushi to right of them,

Courtiers to left of them,

Daimyo behind them

So overpowered;

Denied Fate by Goblin Sneak,

While horse and player weep.

With that Admit Defeat

Not a Fate Worse than Death,

Back from the Art of Peace,

All that was left of them,

So underpowered.

VI

When will their Glory work?

Way of the Scorpion hurts!

All gamers wondered.

Honour their hope forlorn!

Honour the Unicorn,

By playing Ide hundred!

Alfred, "Ide" Tennyson. Verbatim during the Imperial Inquest into Imbalance in the Empire.

Historical notes:-

The actual Charge of the Pony Brigade led to a Dishonourable loss. This is why Cavalry Reserves had to be removed (they were all dead). Game-play re-enactments may differ.

Policy Debate and Disdainful Remark are golden. Giver of Gifts for days.