The Grand Melee - 5 Most Dangerous Men

Welcome back to The Grand Melee - Psych 101. I apologize for the long hiatus but life, as is so often said in these forums, intervened. We had our second daughter and any free time I manage to acquire gets transferred to sleep. Sort of.

In any case, in this installment of Psych 101 we'll be taking a closer look at the Melee format's 5 most dangerous men. Now, these cards might not be the best of the best, or even the best version of a card as glorified here. Regardless, the purpose of these articles is to highlight those cards, tactics or situations whose impact on the psychological landscape of the 4-player Melee is both undeniable and of epic proportions.

So, what makes a man "dangerous"? First, for this particular thread the man must be unique--no Bannerman or armies. No, we're looking at those individuals whose mere presence is enough to forge temporary alliances between the other 3 players around the table. And it is this final point that gets a man on this list: when the man is marshaled the very air in the room grows heavier, there is a stillness, a majestic silence. The game has changed, and all eyes turn to his grim visage, and knowing glances pass furtively around the table. These 5 cards listed below represent, in this humble author's mind, those men in the game who most affect the other players' styles, who change their decisions, who impose, by their very presence, an almost mono-focus on their defeat. Only once in the Dead pile can the others breathe again, and turn back to each others' throats.

5. Beric Dondarrion (IG)

This may seem like a surprise, what with all that's written about how easy it is to rid the world of the Lightning Lord, but I find both this man and his whole Brotherhood to be a marvelous pain. Of course we must assume that there is no power on his owner's house card, and as such, this guy is nigh impossible to kill. Fine, blank his text or return him to hand, his still manages to live and be this unburnable, unstoppable badass--like some movie killer who just won't die. In reality, there are very few cards that can send Beric to the Dead Pile, and they don't pop up too much in the Melee format. It takes a concerted effort on the part of the other 3 players to dispose of this guy. One Nightmares
Nightmares (LoW) him, another Flame Kisses Flame-Kissed (Core)
him and the third tries to stab him in the face. All that time spent on Beric allows his owner to do other things while the collective back is turned.

4. Robert Baratheon (TGM)

This one might be controversial, but there is something about this Bob that gets under everyone's skin. First, his text simply begs that you jump on board to defend. It's like, impossible to manage restraint. Even if your side wins the challenge you've knelt someone useful, thereby freeing up another challenge type for Bob's owner or opening up a weakness for an "ally's" backstab. The problem is, really, why would Bob's owner attack alone with this guy unless he had a trick up his sleeve? He invites you to the party and then slaps everyone in the face. The group focuses on getting rid of him mainly because he messes with their minds. And that's just insulting.

3. Stannis Baratheon (KotStorm)

Sure, the only King requirement can be a hindrance, but this guy's effect is global and worth extirpating immediately. Some dupes and 2 Power of Blood turns and this version of Stannis potentially denies a total of 27 cards to his opponents outside of the Draw phase. As the game has become more draw-dependent and a House that can't draw 5 cards a turn loses, his ability, which is always "on", is powerfully enormous. If you and your sudden buddies don't ice him you'll finish the Melee having gone 17 cards into your deck. And you won't have won.

2. The Red Viper (TftRK)

I realize that this is not the most popular Viper out there, and most Martells run agendas, but this list is all about what effect the man has in Melee should he come to the table. You won't see this guy often, but when you do, he changes everything. Unlike the other dangerous men who garner targets on their foreheads, the Viper changes the game by dismantling most Houses' interest in attacking him. Who needs another Valar, anyways? the other impact he has, that makes him almost the most dangerous, is that sometimes another player has nothing to lose by killing him, and so the game is in this constant state of weird equilibrium. If I kill House A's 3 guys, he'll just direct kill the Viper and I've lost everything. Few cards change the psychological dynamic like Viper Morgulis. Not bad for a guy who gets about 12 pages in the books, eh (I know that number's not right, but you get my point)?

And, finally:

1) Euron Crow's Eye (KotS)

This guy is maddening. Immune to events so you have to actually kill him the hard way--and he's one hell of an elusive target. With Greyjoy's endless save opportunities and limitless little guys as cannon fodder, you just can't get to him. To make matters worse, all those weenies defending him are stealthy and end up hitting you despite your best defenses. Once he's on the table, if the other players don't join forces immediately, the game is over. The momentum Euron provides is unassailable once it gets going. The collective groan that emerges when this bastard hits the table can be heard all the way to Essos, I'm sure.

Well, there you have it. I hope this list inspires some kind of debate, and I look forward to reading below all those comments asking how I could have forgotten whomever. The next Grand Melee - Psych 101 will turn the lens on the 5 most dangerous women. I'm already committed to not including Meera Reed.