The Chime of Eons - Descendants of Isha (part 2)

"Pain is the only universal constant. Pain is all. It is the key to creation and destruction both. Thus does he who masters pain become a god."

- Urien Rakarth


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The true heirs now present themselves!

The Dark Eldar? Well clearly they're the true heirs of the ancient Eldar, as they haven't turned tail and fled from the glory of the old ways of the old society. They survived the fall because they were strong willed enough to do so, and don't have to diminish themselves out of fear of mere gods.

Chaos? They are the true heirs to human destiny, not the stasis-loving corpse-revering Imperium, but the scions of a new race that embrace the inevitable evolution of mankind into an era of unbridled power and freedom.

Orks? They're the true heirs of the Old Ones, the only created race that is continuing to serve the function the Old Ones intended for them. Also, WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!


The Haemonculi and their Covens

Commorragh in its current state is not wholly controlled by any single government or faction (though Asdrubael Vect would likely prefer if this were otherwise) but rather is the site of endless conflict between the many Kabals and Wych Cults that strive for dominance.

The Kabals are the backbone of Dark Eldar society, the framework around which political power is built, and the masters of the realspace raids that bring a constant stream of souls, torture victims and slaves back to the sunless city.

The Wych Cults are the city's beating heart, orgiastically devoting themselves to blood and murder, and the perfection of the dance of death. The spilling of blood brings life and passion to the city.

Beyond these two sets of greater powers, however, there are covens of secret masters descended from the noble houses of the ancient Eldar Empire. Overt power is not their goal, nor open control, but they have positioned themselves to be indispensable to Dark Eldar society, and free to indulge whatever dark experimentations or projects they desire. The Haemonculus Covens then, are the soul of Commorragh, generally unseen but the secret power behind the thrones of Archons and Succubi alike.

The haemonculi are masters of fleshcrafting, forever twisting the forms of their victims into new shapes and functions, using technology that is a mix of the biological and mechanical. Obscenely organic architecture, blades protruding from fleshy orifices, the screams of horrified victims as they behold their reflections: these are the palette and canvas of the true artist.

Beyond experimentation, the Covens are also essential to society in many other ways: their birthing vats create the Halfborn clones that make up almost all of the Dark Eldar population and their regeneration pods harness the power of pain to bring the dead back to life. Every Kabal must rely on the Haemonculi for logistics support, and a wise Archon also heeds the advice and wisdom of these most ancient of sadists.

Signature Squad

Urien Rakarth

In terms of the game fiction, Urien Rakarth is on a level above and beyond any other Warlord we've seen so far. Sure, Cato might be one of the most talented generals in a Chapter that goes back to the Horus Heresy. Sure, Shadowsun might be the supreme military commander of the Fire Caste in the Tau Empire. But Urien was already old when the Horus Heresy happened, and was ancient by the time the first tool-using Tau rubbed two sticks together to make fire. He was a noble and Eldar of influence within the ancient Eldar Empire before the Fall, and that makes him one of the oldest and most powerful figures in the whole 40k universe.

There's only a handful of contemporaries that Urien has in the fiction: Eldrad Ulthran was similarly ancient, but is recently deceased; the Chaos Space Marines are from ten thousand years ago, though the subjective passage of time means it might have felt like yesterday to them; the Emperor of Mankind is hinted at being almost forty thousand years old, but he's a special case; the Tyranid Hive Mind is probably millions of years old, but doesn't really count as an individual consciousness; three of four Chaos Gods are older by far, but they're Gods, and actually Urien is somewhat older than the youngest Chaos God!

So, given we're speaking about someone who is that old and powerful, are 2/6 stats and a mere single deck sufficient? Probably not, but its consistent with the wargame at least, which describes him at the same points cost and power levels as other commander-level characters. My personal headcanon is that when you see Urien on the tabletop in the wargame or when we see this card, we're actually looking at a remote controlled flesh-puppet that Urien is mind-riding to the battlefield. After all, you don't get to ten thousand years of age by exposing yourself to boltgun fire on a regular basis...

Urien's Coven, the Prophets of the Flesh, follow in his footsteps as master crafters of the flesh of their victims. Of particular amusement is the tale of the War of Dark Revelations, detailed in the Dark Eldar codex, one that I'd encourage you to look up on Lexicanum.

Twisted Wracks

Ever fans of the pun-based name, GW dubbed the walking torture-tools of the Dark Eldar wracks, because they're like racks, and they wrack you with pain, and they didn't really wrack their brains over this one, did they?

In fiction, wracks are dark eldar volunteers, who for masochistic reasons, out of despair or just sheer boredom ask the haemonculi to turn them into walking pain-machines. Though the process of transformation is no doubt painful and though bound slavery to the haemonculi is a requirement, the wracks receive the compensation of getting to play with all the haemonculi's cruellest and most sadistic toys, as well as their most excruciating poisons.

While Dark Eldar society is liable to drive more people to this lifestyle choice than a relatively saner society might (and relatively is the key word here, as there aren't really any wholly sane societies in 40k) their numbers are still low, so its wholly fluffy and appropriate that FFG chose to have this signature unit be 2x rather than 4x.

The game effect is also nicely evocative, showing that the wracks are more or less driven by pain, either that they suffer, or that they have the potential to inflict. Likewise, it nicely reflects the unpredictability of their combat performance, and a lack of command actions shows their single mindedness.

Ichor Gauntlet

Though many Haemonculi use gauntlet-like weapons, Urien's own one is an injection device that pumps mutagenic ichor into those he scratches or claws at.

As a master of pain and torture, its fully appropriate that this is a tool for multiplication of torture, and an exhaust-the-warlord cost is a nice way of showing Urien feeling obliged to study and indulge in the pain he is inflicting. Ultimately the old sadist isn't that interested in military victory or power: his experimentations are all that stir him from ennui.

Interestingly from a mechanical point of view, this is one of only two attachments in the game that can only attach to one specific card. The other, Glovodan Eagle, is Unique. This one isn't. Not sure what to read into that, but I hope it will mean something at a later stage!

Rakarth's Experimentations

Really, the name of this card says it all. That Rakarth loves to experiment!

Its odd on first examination that this is an effect that messes up enemy logistics, but actually on closer perusal of this card in its context we can see that it actually does a lot of other things, from driving forward Wracks, to providing drug doses to a Hypex Injector, to laying the groundwork for a Soul Seizure.

What is fluffiest about this card is the way that it brings a feeling of broad pressure and pain to an opponent - not enough to be a decisive killing strike, but rather an accumulated feeling of sadistic squeezing and disrupting of their gameplan.

Urien's Oubliette

The artwork of this card depicts a pretty gruesome dungeon, but actually this is one place where reality trumps fiction in sheer horror.

The word oubliette is French, and literally translates as a place for the forgotten. It represented a special type of prison cell: a chamber large enough for a man to stand in, but not wide enough to crouch or sit. The prisoner would be lowered by a rope into this chamber via a trapdoor at the top, and then the trapdoor would be closed, leaving the prisoner in the darkness, forced to stand with increasing agony till he died. Mostly, someone disposed of in this way would simply be forgotten (as the name implied), though the unlucky ones might be given food and water, and have their captivity (and deaths) drawn out for much longer.

I challenge anyone to visit the Bastille, and to look down through the grille into the oubliette, and not feel a shiver of horror and sympathy for those who died in it!

As far as I know, the oubliette has no pre-existing link to the fiction of Urien Rakarth in the established lore, but its exactly the sort of thing which he would enjoy inflicting on someone!

The card effect is hard to match to the concept, but it does more broadly fit the feel of torturing your opponent: this isn't a card that causes a quick death, rather its a way of inflicting a series of small NPEs on your opponent! But hey, thats why we play Dark Eldar, right?

Other Cards

Ancient Keeper of Secrets

Its interesting to see a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh represented as an army unit, as we've already seen a Greater Daemon of Nurgle represented as a Warlord. However, this card is suitably expensive and potent, and presumably the Keepers of Secrets (plural, as this card is non-Unique) are ones that aren't too interested in leading armies, but would rather be indulging in the joy of battle.

With this card, and the other two chaos cards this pack, FFG seems to be telegraphing an intention to present a devotee of Slaanesh as the next Chaos warlord. We can only hope!

As mentioned, Keepers of Secrets are the greater daemons of Slaanesh, who is the Chaos God of Pleasure and Excess. They are created by him subconsciously, manifested from his mercurial moods leaving an impression on warpspace, and each Keeper's physical form is forever shaped by Slaanesh's mood at the time of its creation.

They are potent sorcerors, specialising of course in the manipulation of emotions and senses, and the dulling of reason. As their name suggests, they instinctively know all the darkest desires and guilty pleasures of those they wish to corrupt, and will happily use this knowledge in the service of Slaanesh.

Aesthetically, I have to say I don't like this card much: the artwork is a bit of a low-contrast mess, and there's better art of Keepers of Secrets out there.

Doom Siren

We've looked at the Noise Marines of Slaanesh in a previous article, and the Doom Siren is one of their main weapons: a gun-amplifier that magnifies the war cries and joyous screams of the bearer into a sonic burst attack that can shatter and flatten multiple enemies at once.

Its appropriate that a weapon of this sort should grant Area Effect, and the fact that it instead "amplifies" Area Effect that is already there is nicely fluffy. Of course, there's a few disconnects if we think too hard about it (sound doesn't travel through space, a piece of wargear shouldn't cost as many resources as the unit who bears this weapon). Also, rather shamefully, this isn't a weapon that can be equipped to the Noise Marine Zealots in any useful fashion. In fact, the few units it can be attached to at present are ridiculously unfluffy - a Nurgle Unit with Blight Grenades, or a dark eldar Kabalite.

This card may make more sense, mechanically and in terms of game fiction, with future cards. Or it might remain a clunker forever.


Slaanesh's Temptation

I'm very happy with this card, as it provides a mechanical identity to go with a chaos god that the LCG hasn't defined very well up to this stage. We knew Khorne was about fighty units that aren't that good at command, that Nurgle was all about attrition and non-attack damage, that Tzeentch was all about blasty spells. Slaanesh, meanwhile, had gotten the generic warlord groupie.

This card, along with Ancient Keeper of Secrets, seems to suggest that Slaanesh will be about drawing opposing forces to where you want them to be, and then indulging in an orgy of gleeful slaughter.

That sounds good to me!

Especially fluffy here is when you play against this card, you feel a real temptation to abandon your careful plans and to be drawn into the chaos player's trap. It takes mental discipline and sacrifice to turn down the battle that Slaanesh says you need, and sooner or later you have to acquiesce: Slaanesh's Temptation always wins out in the end!

Big Shoota Battlewagon
In game fiction turns, a big shoota battlewagon is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

Its not entirely clear why the battlewagon explodes into a cloud of snotlings, but you have to admit that its a fun mental image, and very orky.

This card might not make much sense on an individual level, but I feel it supports the mechanical identity of the ork faction beautifully, and is a welcome and fun addition to the LCG.

Made Ta Fight

Going by the lore and mythology, its likely that the orks actually were made to fight. The Brainboyz (who as we've previously discussed devolved into Snotlings, and who may well have been the mythical Old Ones) created the ork race to be their warriors and bodguards. This explains a lot about orkish psychology and culture, and why for most orks war is not a means to an end, but rather the goal in itself.

This card has great art, and has a card effect that is easy to translate conceptually into fiction: the orks fight on to the bitter end, and even as they're being wiped out they're still gleefully laying into the enemy.

"Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!"

That quote always sounds best to me when presented in a heavy Welsh accent.


Squiggify

This is another card that falls into the category of "why wasn't this a signature card?"

Not so much for its effect, but more because Squiggify is a unique psychic power, and is used only by Old Zogwort.

Despite that, this card is wonderfully orky in what it represents. The implementation might not be as sound mechanically nor quite what I'd prefer it to be in fiction terms (why is the squig so feeble yet so tough? why does it keep fighting alongside its comrades?) but its a fun addition to the orkish armoury.

I suspect though that most orkish players will be looking at the two shield icons on the card, and not much else.

Inquisitor Caius Wroth

Great to see more unique characters in the game, though like the other non-Warlord named characters in the LCG, this is a new creation of FFG's.

There's a Glavius Wroth in the Dark Heresy rpg (also created by FFG), so clearly someone in FFG likes the sound of that surname.

Thanks are due here to cardgamedb user Saiser who informed us that:

The original artwork was for an Inquisitor Herrod from the Dead Stars adventure for Dark Heresy, one of FFG's 40K tabletop RPGs. In the context of that story, Inquisitor Herrod was an extremely famous and renowned Inquisitor that was eventually horribly murdered... unwilling to see him die, secret allies and devotees in the Mechanicus and Inquisition had him 'resurrected' from what very little they could recover of him. All that is really left of him in that picture is a part of his brain, and a death-mask of yellow flesh pulled over steel that serves as his 'face', his voice generated from phonic recordings of Herrod when he was properly alive. Absolutely everything else is an incredibly extensive cybernetic frame and reconstruction. He is... not the Herrod of old, not at all, not even close, only the barest semblance of humanity or the person he once was remains of him.

So there you go: a brand new character, using the artwork of one FFG-created Inquisitor and borrowing the surname of another.

For my own part, I'm going to point out that is one pimping ass big medallion, and going to complain about the time that Wroth caused by Baharroth deck to discard fifteen fricking cards. That's one hell of a psychic blast.

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Thanks for reading Chime of Eons!

Coming soon we've got the first Deluxe Set and the Tyranid gribblies it will bring, plus the excitement of the Planetfall cycle!

Till then, for the Emperor's sake don't stop shooting and aim for the big ones, aim for the big ones.... there's monsters everywhere... AARRRRRRRGH!

*transmission ends*