Tech Talk - Cyber Monday

11:37PM, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27th, 2163
Izzy wakes up to static dancing across his eyelids. He tries to reach for the data plug in his temple, to cut the ErosFeed that has, apparently, run out, but his arms don't seem to be working. For a minute, he wonders if rivals from Jinteki have broken into his office and cut off his arms – he's heard of worse, actually, like that woman from Accounts Receivable who found a genetically-engineered clone-cobra in a special delivery package. He wiggles his shoulders and can feel dead weight still attached. He must have fallen asleep on his arms.

"You fell asleep on your arms, Isaac." The bioroid's voice is amazingly human but Izzy can hear the mild tinniness, the slight hitches in diction. He's been working for Haas-Bioroid since he graduated college, eleven years now, long enough to be able to tell 'roids from people.

Izzy hoists his face and chest off his desktop. His slowly awakening arms drag after him, falling into his lap.

"Isaac? Do you require assistance?"

"Real astute of you, Robbie," Izzy hollers at the robot over the hiss of static in his head. "Unplug this data feed!"

Robbie's heavy footsteps draw closer then suddenly the noise and hiss stop as Robbie pulls the datajack out of the interface in Izzy's temple. The interior of Izzy's very posh office swims slowly into focus. "You have been asleep for three hours, Isaac. Our deadline approaches."

"Three hours?!? You piece of--" The rest of Izzy's exclamation is lost as he tumbles backwards out of his office chair when he tries to stand up. His legs, it seems, are also asleep.

"Isaac? Do you require assistance?"

"Why did you let me sleep for three hours?"

"My sensor array indicated that in order to recover from the amount of Stim you had consumed, as well as recuperating from such...athletic viewing of ErosFeed as you had engaged in, you would need roughly three hours of sleep."

Izzy's arms and legs are finally back under his control, if still seemingly made of ice needles that had been lit on fire, so he pulls himself to standing. "Don't judge me! I was getting my creative on!"

"And has your...creative come up with a Cyber Monday plan? We now have nineteen minutes to construct a plan for the launch of the Custom Biotics line that will simultaneously stimulate consumer activity and deter the kind of cybercriminal shenanigans such a launch usually inspires."

"Thanks exposition 'bot, I wasn't aware of any of that! What a huge help you've been!" Izzy opens his desk drawer and notices a distinctly empty space where his supply of Stim usually is. "Why is there a distinctly empty space where my supply of Stim usually is?"

"You consumed it all."

Izzy turns his office chair right side up and drops into it. "Seriously?" He pulls a mirror from one of the desk drawers, wipes a film of Stim from it, and checks his gums and eyes for bleeding. Right before the office closed for Thanksgiving, he had had a heart-exploding amount of Stim delivered via courier. It was supposed to last him until Christmas. "Wait, did you say we only had nineteen minutes left to figure this whole thing out?"

"Sixteen minutes now, sir." Robbie gently pushed Izzy closer to his desk. "Perhaps you would like to share what your...creative has come up with?"

"Don't you get snarky on me, Robbie. It's your job to make sure that I do my job. The last thing I remember is finishing Thanksgiving dinner."

"There are left overs, Isaac. I took the liberty of wrapping them and storing them in your mini-fridge."

"Why did you let me do Stim and watch Eros for, like, three days when we have such a huge dead..." Izzy's stomach growls. "Is there stuffing?"

Without another word, Robbie sets about reheating a pile of gravy-covered stuffing. Izzy cracks his knuckles over the virtual keyboard projected on the SimuWood of his desktop. "Okay, sixteen--"

"Thirteen, now, Isaac."

"Fine, thirteen minutes to plan a runner-proof, consumer-catnip launch for the Custom Biotics line that will blow the doors off Cyber Monday. No sweat." Fingers poised above the keys, a single bead of sweat runs down the side of Izzy's face. He needs an idea and he needs it fast.

"Eleven, Isaac." Robbie slides the stuffing bowl into the the macrowave.

"Shut your word-hole!" Izzy takes a deep breath and starts typing. "We don't have time," he says to Robbie, "to build a whole lot of protection for our systems, so we're just gonna hafta outrace 'em." His fingers jackrabbit across the virtual keyboard. "Now you bioroids are speedy, no doubt, but I have a ladyfriend... well, an ex-ladyfriend... well, an ex-friend who is a lady... well, she's a lady now... anyway, she works over at NBN and those bastards know how to do fast. We'll give 'em all our marketing business in return for letting us run all our processing through those ridiculous 500 PFlop computers they have burried under SanSan City."

Robbie places the steaming hot bowl of gravy-delicious stuffing down in front of Izzy, right in the center of the keyboard. "Time's up, Isaac."

"We went live 37 seconds ago, big guy," Izzy says. He thumps the bioroid on the shiny metal back of his head, knocking Robbie's red-tinited glasses to the floor. Then Izzy dips his finger into the bowl and rubs a heap of gravy and stuffing along his gums with a smile.


CYBER MONDAY

Identity:
Custom Biotics: Engineered for Success (Creation and Control)


Total Cards: (49)

Agenda: (10)
Accelerated Beta Test (Core) x3
Efficiency Committee (Creation and Control) x3
Project Vitruvius (Cyber Exodus) x3
Mandatory Upgrades (What Lies Ahead) x1

Asset: (3)
Jackson Howard (Opening Moves) x3 (3 Inf)

ICE: (15)
Rototurret (Core) x2
Viktor 1.0 (Core) x2
Viktor 2.0 (Creation and Control) x1
Wall of Static (Core) x2
Eli 1.0 (Future Proof) x2
NEXT Bronze (Opening Moves) x3
Tollbooth (Core) x1 (2 Inf)
Ice Wall (Core) x2 (2 Inf)

Operation: (19)
Shipment from SanSan (Second Thoughts) x3 (3 Inf)
Beanstalk Royalties (Core) x3 (3 Inf)
Archived Memories (Core) x2
Biotic Labor (Core) x3
Hedge Fund (Core) x3
Restructure (Second Thoughts) x2
Shipment from Kaguya (Core) x3 (3 Inf)

Upgrade: (2)
SanSan City Grid (Core) x2 (6 Inf)